Changed
by TragediesPainfulKiss
Summary: A night of passion turns into nine months of hell. OOC Warning!
1. Chapter 1

Severus had to admit, Sirius was a good kisser. That was an irrefutable fact. Yes, he knew this was completely wrong, and against everything Slytherins and/ or pure bloods believed in, but no one had to know. This was private between him and Black.

He was sure that the way this had happened was unusual. He knew for a fact that very few encounters of this kind started from a yelling match. One second Black was calling him a greasy git, and the next Severus was telling him he was flea-ridden mutt that could go copulate himself. He hadn't exactly got to the copulating part- he had been interrupted. By Black. Kissing him. Hard. And what was he supposed to do? It was an automatic reaction, he couldn't fight it. He kissed back, on a reflex. It was just an old habit; he and Black had had a kind of mutual 'companionship' in fifth year, a _secret _companionship. One that was strictly business, bedroom business-nothing else. So of course his reaction was automatic. But he was completely unsure of why this was continuing. Or why he wasn't hexing the living daylight out of Black. In fact, right now, he was unsure of many things. He had though he had started liking girls again in sixth year, and Black was seen many times kissing girls after their 'companionship' had ended. So what was happening right now was confusing. It would have been scary, but he knew what to expect.

Now, completely unable to control his hormones, he let Black push him unto the couch. He was enraptured now, there would be no stopping. He wanted Black. Now! Black seemed to share the same sentiment, as he moaned loudly.

"Upstairs, now!" Black whispered.

"Don't gotta listen to you, mutt." He kissed back.

His reply was promptly ignored, and Black lifted him up in his strong arms and threw him on his huge bed. The minute Severus's head hit the pillow he knew what was going to happen. And he would have done anything in his power to make sure it did.

"Lock the door, Black." He said.

Black obliged, and the next hour and a half was sea of hormones and other unmentionable things. Things that ensure that they would never make eye contact again. Things that would be hard to explain, but no one would ever have to know. This was their dirty little secret. Theirs and theirs alone.

Severus panted hard, sweat dripping down his back.

"What the hell are you panting for, I did all the work- like usual." Black said leaning up on one elbow. His hair was slick with sweat and he was panting also.

"Shut up, and so you know, just because you're a mutt doesn't mean we always have to do it doggie-style." He retorted rolling away from Black.

"You were always the adventurous one. Next time we can do it your way, as long as you keep staying the girl. Wouldn't want you to emasculate me." Black scooted closer and wrapped his arm around his side.

"I take it back, you're not a dog, you are a pig." He snarled.

Sirius just laughed.

"And what, I ask, makes you think they'll be a next time?" Severus asked turning to glare at him.

"Well, with me dear, there is ALWAYS a next time. "

Severus had to admit that Black was correct. However he was not going to let the mutt win so easily.

"So if I refuse again, you'll rape me?" He raised an eyebrow.

"It's not rape if you like it."

"Touché, but maybe I'll choose to be difficult and virtuous and say no. what then?"

"Well, I have yet to rape anyone, and I plan to keep it that way. Though…you are adventurous-we could try role-playing." Black sounded hopeful.

"Idiot- if we did that kind of role-playing how would you know if I really wanted you to stop?"

"We'd have a safety word." He came back, with a confidant grin.

"Oh, really? Got this all figured out, haven't you?"

"Yup, I do."

"I can't stand you! You're so cocky and arrogant. Besides- why am I always the girl?" He asked annoyed. He was just teasing. He really had no intention of ever being the guy. The bottom was the place for him.

"Well, you see, you are much too delicate and boney to be the guy."

"I am NOT delicate."

"Please, you remember your first and LAST attempt to be the guy? Didn't end so lovely did it? Besides if it aint broke, don't fix it."

"Well, I guess we could schedule some time we could meet." Severus agreed.

"Great."

"But we can't tell anyone, the same rules as before apply. Got it?"

"Of course I won't tell anyone. This will be like fifth year all over again." Black smiled, his sexy black eyes shining.

"Oh, really," Severus was pissed now, "You're going to go find some pretty chick and then forget about me again? Like in fifth year?" He rolled off the bed and stood.

"What- that was years ago! Wait- where are you going?"

"I'm leaving! Obviously." He said quickly pulling on his clothes, hating the fact that he felt jealous. He had thought that he forced that feeling away, and buried it deep.

"By then. I guess. "

Severus left without ever replying. He needed a drink, a STRONG drink, MANY drinks in fact. And a bath. A long bath.


	2. Chapter 2

A whole week had gone by since his encounter with Black. Enough time to drink away any un natural feeling he had had. Enough time to completely repress that night. Enough baths to leave his skin softer than babies.

There was an order meeting taking place now, it was just about to end it fact, and Severus had prided himself on avoiding any glances that might occur with Black. He kept expecting everyone to somehow know, but was relieved to find out no one commented on it. He could breathe with relief, when it came time to leave. He was happy to go home and brew some, and just read. Anything, really, to keep his mind of the terrible thing he had done. He knew it was evil, that gay's were worse than mud-bloods and traitors. He calmed himself, somewhat, with the thought that he was not gay- he had merely just participated in some sinful activity. Activity that he would never do again. The guilt gnawed at him, tough, continually. Every Slytherin knew what happened when you did this kind of evil. They had learned in Alternative Sex ed. The one pure-bloods/Slytherins went to, while the rest of the houses went to another.

After you did these things, you would get cancer and your skin would burn, and you would have horrible pain course through your body. Bad Children that did these things, the teacher insisted, would be punished severely. It was not only shameful to one's self, but to their whole family. (The teacher just happened to be there version of a muggle-preacher. He was the one who condemned or set up matches to be marries. He was the one who could beat you senseless and the one who could make you respectable. He the one who could send you to hell. He was the scariest man Severus had ever known.)

He had gone on about sin. On and one about waiting to be married, about being betrothed, about respect and pride. He had talked about being a good Slytherin, and how to keep it that way. He warned about horrible things.

And when Black was brave enough to ask, "Well, how is that true? I know lots of gay's they don't have any of those symptoms."

The class was dead silent. Severus panicked, the preacher would know.

"They are evil sodomizers- you must keep away from that filth. Lest they taint you with evil. You are correct however. There will be, VERY VERY few, who can avoid these symptoms. That is because they have a certain kind of chemistry. But, they will suffer, suffer in hell."

Severus gulped; he would be on his knees all night, asking for forgiveness.

"Where do babies come from?" A student called from the back.

"Sex." The preacher said bluntly.

"Well, what is that?"

Severus had wondered that for awhile also. He had only found out when Sirius had shown him.

"Are you having it?" The preacher asked sharply.

"Well, no? I think, I don't know what it is so how can I know?"

"If you're not having it than you don't need to know anything about it.. You are all too young to know.. When the time comes your mother of father will tell you. When you're wedding date is set. "

'But, you can get bad things from sex, so how do you not have it? Or what are these condom things?"

"Foolish boy! How dare you speak like that in front of me and the girls? Sinful! Where did you hear these things?" The preacher roared.

The boy who had asked was pale now.

"I-I heard the –"

"What? What did you do?"

"Heard the Gryffindor's talking about it. They said that you could keep a girl from getting pregnant, but you said you can't. You said that a girl always gets pregnant. Every time. I was just confused."

The preacher slapped the boy, hard. "You need to tune your ears out and not listen to such filth. It is shameful! A girl will always get pregnant. Every time. There is no stopping that. It is a myth. If you keep your clothes on around girls and keep your hands from going in the places they don't belong you have nothing to worry about. NO disease will afflict you, and no sinner will contaminate you. Keep modest and chaste, and boys keep respectable and virtuous."

The class had no questions after that.

Severus was concerned now. It had been a week and he had AWFUL stomach aches. He wanted to panic and run to the preacher, but he was sure it must be in his head. He had felt awful and guilty, and wished to just repent. But the preacher would kill him. The week went by and the pain increased. Finally he confines himself to his bed, unable to move. His only noise a groan now and then. He was sure he was dying and he was scared. An hour or so passed and he was finally able to get up, and drop of the potion for Remus, over at the Burrow.

"Severus, come in." Severus obliged Molly, just because he had no strength to argue. He was in complete pain. AGONIZING pain that ran through his body. He hurried in and thrust the potion and the werewolf and turned to leave. He turned a bit to sharply though, and pain stabbed him. Cold and hard, and vicious.

"Son of a bi-ahh!" He gasped, and fell to his knees, clutching at his sides.

"Severus, are you okay?" Molly and Remus and Arthur flocked around him. He would have masked the pain, but this was too much to stomach. He gasped and breathed sharply, and then fell on his side. He was dying, he been pucking for days. Molly touched his forehead.

"Hmm, He's not hot." She sounded a bit concerned.

'Stop. Don't touch me, I'm fine!" He insisted but Molly looked at Remus. "Take him upstairs."

"I swear if you touch me, I'll kill you- you-"He was cut off, his body seized. He moaned, this was horrible pain. He wanted to c ry. Remus gently set him on Molly's bed.

"Molly, really I'm fine. I'm just dying. Let me go home." He pleaded.

"Dying, what on earth are you talking about?" He glared at Remus, who quickly left, and closed the door.

"It's fine. I did something bad, and now I'm going to die. Simple. I need to go take care of things now."

Well, if you are dying you shouldn't be running about." Molly said in a tone that suggested she did not believe him at all.

"Look, I need to talk to Albus, and my Preacher." He insisted.

Molly was having none of it. "Tell exactly, why you believe you are dying Severus."

Severus did not want to tell her. But if he had to choose just one person to tell, it would be her. And she did not seem about to let him get up without clarification.

"You can't tell ANYONE." He whispered.

Molly nodded. Concern showed on her face.

"I slept with Sirius and now I'm gonna die!" He whispered, barely audible.

Molly stared. "What?"

"You heard me! Now let me up!" He insisted.

To his annoyance, she did not let him get up. She seemed to be bracing herself.

"Well dear, are you pregnant?


	3. Chapter 3

"What the bloody hell are you talking about Molly, I'm being completely serious!" He spat angrily. This was not a time for joking, he was dying and he had things to attend to. Before he died.

Molly stared at him confused. "Well, dear, ARE you?"

Severus snapped, "What the hell is the matter with you, I'm dying cause of what I did and now you're making jokes? Men can't get pregnant! If they do what I did, they die."

"Severus I think you are VERY confused. Didn't you have sex ed. Class?" Molly asked,, bewilderment on her face.

"Yeah, are preacher came and talked to the Slytherin's and pure bloods. That's why I know I'm dying, I have to leave now." He started to sit up, he really had to hurry, the pain was getting worse, and he probably only had an hour left.

Molly sighed, "Of course you're confused, there pure-blood preachers are…" Molly trailed off. She instead sighed again, and said, "Dear, you have been kept in the dark. I'm guessing that the preacher kept a lot of things from you."  
>"Molly- I really don't have time for this!" He began, but before he could say anything else, or get up, Molly was speaking again.<p>

"Severus, Males who are Wizards CAN become pregnant, if they sleep with a male. I am being completely serious." Molly said sincerely.

Severus looked her straight in the eyes, trying not to panic. Sincerty and honesty showed in Molly's face. She was being truthful. He knew that the preacher had kept many things from him, but never had he imagined that male pregnancy was possible. Why the hell hadn't the preacher warned them, or told them about these condom things? Maybe it was possible to prevent pregnancy. Severus sighed; he knew that he wouldn't have taken any measure to prevent life. He had been brought up to know that life was special, and to abort or kill your baby was a sin. Prevention was basically the same thing. Guilt coursed through his veins, he was in for a world of trouble.

"Maybe maybe I'm not; maybe this is just the flu or something. Yeah, a flue, and this is just me over reacting. Right? That's what it is. "He was ready to go mad. This was NOT happening.

"Severus calm down. It'll be okay. Here, there's a quick test that can be done to find out if you are or not." She pulled her wand out and waved it, muttering a word or too. Her wand emitted an orb of black light that after a few minutes and after Molly touched it to his stomach turned white.

Molly was silent for a long time. Severus knew what that more than likely meant. But he had to ask, there was always a chance. "Molly….?"

"Congratulations, dear, "She started weakly, "You're pregnant." Molly seemed to sense his despair. "Honey, it's not so bad. But I really think you should talk to Sirius. Soon. "

Severus grimaced as another burst of pain through him. Then he wanted to cry, this was not real. He was ready to panic. "Molly, what the hell am I going to do? My preacher's going to kill me! And what about Sirius? Oh, gosh1 Am I going to die? What about the baby?"

"Severus, CALM. You and the baby should be fine., but-" Severus cut Molly off by running from the room. This was not real. He ran down the stairs.

"Severus- wait!" Molly called. But Severus would not listen. He ran pass the kitchen, with everyone looking at him, and through the door. And then he apparatied home, once there, his first thought was of fire whiskey, but that was not a viable option now. He settled for the next best option which was to run up stairs to his room, and through the blankets over him. And just concentrate, concentrate on not having a panic attack, and concentrate on waiting for the searing pain to pass. His life was over, this was awful.

Someone appirated and Severus tried to get up and see who was there, but the pain was still debilitating. Severus was worried about who was there, but his curiosity was settled when Molly called out," Severus! I'm coming up!" Severus wished you could just have some privacy, to just think about his next option.

Molly came through the door, a book in her hand and a stern look on her face.

"What, what do you want- just leave me alone." He moaned, the pain was intense.

"You left before I could tell you some important things. Here," She put the book on his bed table, "First, you can NOT appirate while you are pregnant, or use the floo. If you were a woman you could, but since you're male, your body is going to change, and appirating is just too stressful to handle."

"What! I can't appirate? Are you kidding, and changes, what changes?" He asked, through a wave of pain.

Molly sat down on the bad and grabbed his hand. "Severus I know you're sacred, even if you won't admit it. Now, I am not trying to scare you but you're body will change. It has too. You will be in pain, and feel nauseous. Severus I am sorry that your preacher did not tell you about these things.. I brought you a book you should read- it will help you."Molly squeezed his hand. "Oh, I know this Is hard for you. If you have any questions just ask."

Severus saw the sympathy in her eyes. "Molly, the pain- how do I stop it?" He wheezed.

Molly looked sympathetic. "You really can't STOP it, but you can make it tolerable. For starters appirating just makes it ten times worse, and hurts the baby. So stop that all together. You have pain because your body had to change to allow the baby to live. The best you can do is to avoid moving and try warm baths. Other than that, there's really nothing you can do. Sorry. "

Severus could not help it. He had felt so many emotions the last few days and he could not handle it. He started to cry. "I don't know what to do Molly!" He sobbed.

Molly just hugged him and muttered comforting words. After awhile he calmed. This was going to be hard, but Molly had given him a book and would answer any questions he had. He could do this, it would not be easy, but he could do it- there was no other choice. Molly left, and he cracked open the book entitled male pregnancy, and he spent the rest of that night reading , and crying, and cringing in pain.

A week had passed, along with another order meeting. He had thought he would tell Black than, but he had chickened out. Today though, would be the day to do it. Unfortunately he was at the burrow- which meant that it would be hard to talk to Black alone. Bracing himself, he went up to the door and knocked. Seconds later the door was opened by Potter. Shock showed on his face. "What are YOU doing here?" he asked.

"I need to talk to Black. Now." He said. He had to do this now, or he never would. He thought the boy would slam the door in his face, but instead he turned to fetch his godfather. Severus waited and seconds late Black appeared.

"What the hell are you doing here?" He spat.

Severus gave him one look full of meaning. "I NEED to talk to you."

Black glanced around and saw the Weasely kids, the Granger child, and the Potter boy peeking through the windows. Black tossed his head toward the door. "Upstairs, Molly will let us talk in her room"

Severus followed Black in the house, and Molly gave them a quizzical glance, but said nothing as they went upstairs. Once in Molly's room Black spoke, "Are you dying?"

Severus understood that Black thought that. It had been his first thought too. "Black, I'm pregnant."

Too Severus's anger, Black laughed.

"I'm not kidding you fucking idiot! It's possible, our preacher lied to us, here!" He thrust the book at him hard.

Blacks smile disappeared as he read more and more of the book, at first skimming, and than reading whole chucks. "You did the test thing- oh fuck this is bad this is bad. What the hell are you going to do? Shit-"

"Me, you mean us! Were both in trouble Black!"

"Us? You're the one who got pregnant!"

"Excuse me? It takes two to make a baby, and I didn't know this was even possible. " He was pissed Black was blaming him.

"Look, I don't care, what are you going to do about it?" Black looked scared.

"US! US! What are WE going to do! This isn't just my mistake! You Asshole- you need to take some accountability too!"

They were screaming now, this was not going well.

"Look, I don't care what you do, but –"

"You are SUCJ an asshole! Go to hell!" He screamed, and then he turned and ran down the steps.


	4. Chapter 4

Severus was pissed, absolutely fuming. Especially now, because instead of being able to appirate to his home, he had had to appirate to BLACK:S house.. He had not wanted to hurt his baby, and so he had decided, without Black's knowledge, that he would simply have to move in to Black's house. There was simply no other way. The meetings were there, and therefore he would have to stay there. He had stomped from Molly's house, and was not waiting for Black to return. While waiting,, he was on the couch moaning in pain. Fucking appiartauon. Fucking Black. Fucking pregnancy.

An hour or so later Black returned and was more than surprised to see Severus sitting on his couch. "What the hell are you doing here?" He hissed, immediately going to his liquor cabinet and grabbing a while bottle of fire whiskey,

"We need to talk, and no Black, that little spat we had does NOT constitute a talk."  
>Black sighed, "What the fuck do you want from me?" He asked.<p>

Severus glared, and winced in pain. "Look Black- were having a baby. I really did not want this to happen, but it did. There is nothing we can do about it. However- we need to discuss some arrangements. I need to sleep here from now on."

"What, why. Look just because-"

Severus had lost his patience now. "Because I can't fucking appirate anymore, now!"

"Geez, calm the fuck down."

"You have no idea what this is going to do to me!"

"Maybe I would it you stopped bitching at me, and tell me!"

Severus sighed, "Read the fucking book, I'm taking a nap" He spat. He proceeded to go up the steps and opened the doors tell he found what was surely the master, and the cleanest, room. He then lay on the bed in pain, until finally he fell into a fitful sleep.

He awoke to the smell of something burning. He groggily trudged downstairs to the kitchen where Black was now holding a plate of something charred and black.

'What the hell are you eating!" he asked disgusted.

"Waffles…?"

"You're not sure?"

"Well…it was supposed to be waffles, there just a bit done."

Severus rolled his eyes. He grabbed the plate from black and tossed the black mess.

:Hey- I'm hungry, what the hell are you doing?" Black sounded indignant.

"Quit whining. I'll make us EDIBLE food, while YOU go and get my things from my house."

"Excuse me, I'm not your little errand boy."

"Do you want real food or not?"

"Fine! What the hell do you want from-"

"Here" Severus thrust a list at him. "Get EVERYTHING on that list.- EVERYTHING!"Black grumbles something but then obliged. Severus was just finishing cooking when Black returned with his stuff and thrust it on the floor.

"What smells SO good?" He asked trudging into the kitchen.

"This," he said, sweeping his arms to the table, "is what waffles look like!" The table was filled with delicious, perfect-looking waffles. Along with, of course, strawberries and whipped cream.

"MMM."

"Dig in." He said sitting and nibbling on one waffle. He watched enviously as Black dug in. He wished he could eat like that, but since he had become pregnant he could not. He was nauseous all the time, and even though Molly had told him he needed to eat more now, he could not.

While Black devoured his sixth waffle, he went to put his things away. He magicked his things upstairs, and opened the door to an extra bedroom. It was pretty filthy, but an hour or so of spells and it was all good. He put his things away an than sank unto the bed and just stared at the ceiling- thinking.


	5. Chapter 5

He had felt another pang when Black came in after awhile.

"What the hell do you want?" he groaned. "Get out."

Black ignored him, "This is MY house, I think I'll stay." He replied.

Severus had hardly any energy, but managed a glare at the mutt.

"So, I read that stupid book…"

"Yeah, good for you." He spat sarcastically.

"I guess you have no other choice but to stay here. With the Order meetings being here and you not being able to appirate. So yeah, you can have this room." Black looked nervous.

"Oh, GOODY, I get to spend the next ninth months with YOU. Get the hell out of here." He was in no mood for Black and his chivalry. Black did not budge.

"So…I read that book, like I said. Um, we really need to talk to the preacher and figure stuff out you know, and well probably soon and well-" He rambled.

"You think I don't know that. I've been thinking about this since I found out. Okay? This isn't going to be all sunshine and lollipops!-"

"Okay, I'm just trying to be helpful and stuff. You're right. This is OUR problem. So, we should probably talk about it."

Severus was quiet. Sirius was right. And even though pain was going through him he decided the sooner the better. He sighed, "Fine."

"Fine." Black imitated, sitting on the foot of the bed. "So, you know all that stuff that's going to happen to you, right? Like the change and stuff?"

"Yes, and I must say I just CANT wait to experience that. Even now the pain is bad." He whined, hating how pathetic he sounded.

"Yeah, sorry about that." There was silence for a bit. "What about the preacher…we need to talk to him."

"Yeah." Severus was scared of the man, he had become scarier as the years progressed.

"Might as well do it now…I'll just go and get him. Okay?"

"Yeah…might as well." He said. He was scared but this was unavoidable

Severus had been just lying still when he heard the sound of Sirius returning and heard two sets of footsteps coming. He braced himself. The preacher was going to beat him silly, and the pain in his stomach had just dissipated. He let out a sharp breath when his door was opened. The preacher was scary and ominous looking. Sirius looked nervous.

"What do you two need?" He asked calmly. That calm, Severus knew, would not last for long.

Sirius looked nervous, but spoke up. "We have a problem."

"I would assume such, as you insisted I come here right away. I assume this meeting needs the best of privacy. So spit it out, NOW!"

"I got…Severus…pregnant." Black whispered.

The silence was loud, it pierced the ears. Severus nearly panicked as he watched the face of the preacher turn from white to purple.

"What?" The preacher did not wait for an answer, rather he preformed the same spell Molly had and received the same result.

"You sinful little queers! Disgusting little, dishonorable, Disgusting-" The preacher cut off and instead back handed Sirius hard. Sirius flew to the floor, and before he could even make a move to get up the preacher was kicking him in his face and stomach. Black dared not to strike back- you just did not hit a preacher, at all. Black just groaned and tried to block the worst of the attack with his hands.

"Stop, please! It's not his fault. STOP!" Severus yelled.

The preacher looked over at Severus, who was still on the bed. "You keep your mouth shut, I'll deal with you next." Severus's blood ran cold. Minutes later the preacher stopped kicking Sirius, and turned instead to him. SMACK! He was back handed hard. He tensed up, waiting for more to come, but done did.

"The only reason you are not being beaten more severely is because you are with child." The preacher pulled Sirius up by his hair and threw him upon the bed.

"Now, here is what's going to happen. You are not to tell anyone about this. You will keep this child a secret, and after it is born we will come up with an explanation for its existence, other than the fact that you two are sodomizers. Sirius you're parents are dead, but Severus I will inform yours. They will need to work on damage control, help me come up with a feasible option. For now, mum is the word."

The two expectant parents nodded, afraid to do much else. Then the preacher droned on and on about sin and salvation, for at least an hour and a half. Then without saying goodbye turned and appirated away.

It was quiet in the room, and then Sirius spoke, "Are you okay?"

"Am I okay, what about you?" he asked.

"Well, I'm not the one who's crying…" Sirius trailed off.

Severus touched his cheeks and was surprised to see tears. He had had so many hormones racing through him and he just could NOT keep them inside any longer, try as he might. He broke down, and just sobbed. It was just too much to handle. It was all building up on him and threatening to consume him.

"I'm sorry, I just and I can't- it's so much and I can't-"He broke off, it was obvious that he was not going to get anything understandable out of his mouth. To his surprise Black out an arm around him- scooting up to the top of the bed.

"Hey, none of us wanted this…but we got it. If anyone can do this it's us. I mean me- I'm fantastic, and you, well you're smart. We can do this."

Severus smiles a little, "You're so arrogant."

Sirius spoke with mock indignity, "ME, arrogant?"

Severus laughed a little; Sirius was being very nice today.

"Hey", Sirius whispered, "Guess what?" Deviousness showed upon his face.

He was afraid to ask but whispered back, "What?"

Sirius leaned in close, and in a very soft voice whispered, "The preacher can go fuck himself."

Severus's eyes widened, and he pulled away from Sirius. "You can't say that!" he spat. He was scared. The preacher knew everything. EVERYTHING. He half expected him to come out of nowhere and hex him to death.

"The preacher is not here Severus. It's out little secret."

Severus could not help but smile, even though he was scared.


	6. Chapter 6

A while had passed since that disastrous meeting with the preacher and Severus was now at least a month pregnant. And he was very uncomfortable. The July heat did NOT help either. Nor the fact that he could not be in his own home, with his own things, and nor tha fact he had to keep his pregnancy and his living arrangements secret from everyone. The fact that pain seemed to course through his body every few hours did not help either. He HAD stopped appirating all the time, but he still had to go to the death eater meetings, there was simply no way around that.

Now he was in the tub, trying to keep cool, and block the pain out. What he really wanted was some fire whiskey but that was just out of the question, as was any potion that might relieve his pain. He was crying openly now, the pain was intense. Molly had said that the change would take place during the first month, and that it would not be pleasant, and she had been right. Severus was not sure if that was what was happening now, but he assumed, as the pain was ten times worse than anything before experienced.

He closed his eyes, and when he opened them the world spun around in dizzying circles. He tried to stand, but pain held him down in the water, and the next thing he knew, the world was a black oblivion.

Pain was not a new sensation to Severus; in fact he had grown used to it. But his was not like anything ever experienced, it was vicious and unending. Upon awakening he had discovered the tub full of blood, and screamed. This was not right, something was wrong. Heavy footsteps thudded up the steps and moments later Black was at the door trying to open it.

"What, what? Let me in, unlock the door!"

Severus however, could not oblige. He could not move, or even tell Black that he could not. All he could do was scream again as pain racked his body. Black however just kicked the blasted the door down as the door had several spells on it to protect it from intruders. Upon entering the bathroom he looked and saw Severus in the tub, sweat on his face.

"Are you okay?" Sirius looked close to panicking, and Severus could not blame him, there was so much blood. Severus could only shake his head no, and grimace as pain swam along his body. Black, however remained calm, and lifted him out of the tub; Severus did not struggle as he had no energy for that. He carried him to his bedroom and carefully placed him on the bed, then ran out of the room and down the steps. The pain was incredible and time seemed to slow down to an impossible rate before Sirius arrived again, with Molly in tow.

"Oh goodness! Alright everyone, stay calm!" She said, running to the side of the bed, and giving Severus a quick once over. After she had done this she seemed to relax visibly.

"Calm, he's bleeding out! Are you mad or-"Sirius spluttered, indignant. Severus was a little angry also, this seemed a very serious matter.

"Yes, relax you tow. This is just the change going on. And yes, you will be in MAJOR pain for the next day Severus. Unfortunately there is nothing that can be done about that. The best you can do is stay in bed and avoid moving as much as possible. Try to eat too, although most of it will come right back up. Poor dead, sucking on some crackers might help." Molly said, sympathy in her eyes.

"So he's just going to suffer for the next day?" Black sounded worried, which was odd, but Severus could not comment, or speak at all.

"The best you can do is bring him crackers and comfort him Sirius, other than that you will just have to wait." Molly sounded really sad. She reached over and laid a shoulder on Severus's forehead, before turning to leave. "Sorry dear."

The day passed trough a haze of pain. Severus was rally unsure of what was taking place, and all he could do was lie in bed, and moan. Sirius tried to make him feel better, but all he cold do was rub his back , and mutter comforting words. And all that did for Severus was irritate him, and make him lash out. This made him feel guilty, as he knew Black was just trying to comfort him. Finally after a day had passed, a day full of pain he was able to sit up.

"Here" Black came in, looking very hesitant. Severus could not blame him, he had been a royal bitch the last few days. Black came in holding a tray of soup and a stack of crackers.

"Thanks." Severus finally was able to speak. He really was grateful. He still did not feel like getting up or moving about. Definitely not able to make soup. He watched as Sirius moved closer and set the try down carefully on his lap.

Sirius smiled back, "No problem."

Severus tried to lift his arm up and eat the soup, but he was still so weak and tired from his ordeal.

"Umm, I can like help you, if you want..." Sirius began; he could tell that Sirius did not want to embarrass him.

"Thanks."

Finally, Severus was able to move about. And he was especially glad for this, as he could now bath- something he sorely needed after all that bleeding. He felt a tad guilty, as he had bled all over Sirius's bed. But only because Black had been the one to put him on it, so it really was not his fault. Soaking in the tub now, he reluctantly took in what the change had done to him. He was not pleased, to say the least. He was now a woman, and the change was weird. He now had a vagina, and breast. His nose was now smooth, and his hair longer. He was a girl. And all he could do about it was cry. The only reason this was happened was because of his stupidity. The sobs racked his boys, and not for the first time, he worried that he could not do this.


	7. Chapter 7

The week went by, and still no one found out. Severus was thinking he was in the clear for a while, but was not. It was an Order meeting now and Albus was talking to him.

"So Severus, as I was saying, your parents have graciously allowed the Order to stay at that manor for a day, during the big get together they hold once a year. This is only necessary as it will enable us to monitor many known death eaters. I believe your parents are up to seething,"

"THAT man is NOT my father." He spat.

"Your step-father, excuse me."

There they were now, the whole ORDER, at his mother's in her manor. They had been shown to their rooms, and now they were settled at the table, waiting for dinner. The whole while, his mother and step=father passive-aggressively and also blatantly spat insult after insult at him.

"Never does anything right…" His step father was telling Albus, who just politely nodded. The night just went on like that, and through dinner, there were many jabs about his weight and appearance. He wanted to hex them to oblivion but he remained calm. He could not wait to go back to Sirius's. Something he would not have even thought before this whole ordeal. Worse, before he could even escape to the comforts of his bed, his mother dampened his already dark mood.

"By the way boy, the preacher is coming to talk later tonight. I can't wait to see what you did this time." She drawled. The blood drained from Severus's face.

_The preacher had come soon after that, too soon to even prepare himself for the shit fest that was about to happen. He did not want to go through this, especially knowing that order was here. He was waiting in the giant meeting room, his mother and step-father seated already- all that was needed was the preacher. The order had been specific instructions to keep away from the door, to not even dare interrupt. This of course had raised their suspicions, more so when they found out Sirius was to attend.

The door now opened, and the preacher walked in solemnly. He was angry and he glared sharply at Severus and Sirius. Severus was sure he was going to die tonight. The preacher sat slowly and looked Severus's mother and step-father in the eyes, and than just came out with it. The awful truth just spat out into the room.

"I'm sorry to have to tell such upstanding people as you, but you must know. You see, I was grieved to find out that these two have been engaging in sexual deviant behavior," The faces of his mother and step-father turned red, and still the preacher went on, "And as a result your boy has conceived." The faces of the three showed a mixture of disgust and shame.

"You are surely joking, I did NOT raise my boy to me a disgusting little- tell me you joke!" His mother begged.

The preacher shook his head sadly, "It is true, but I do not blame you, I blame your muggle husband- he has contaminated your boy. I am glad you moved on to more a more suitable male." Said the preacher nodding toward his step-father.

"What are we going to do?" Asked his step-father- strictly business, anger showing on his face.

"We will, of course, keep this secret. No one will know about this misfortune. Once the baby comes we will tell everyone that Sirius had impregnated a woman out of wedlock. We will tell everyone that the said woman abandoned the baby with Sirius." The preacher had obviously planned this out meticulously.

"Good. Good, this way we can manage some damage control."Severus's step-father sounded pissed, and he looked as though he was ready to rip Sirius's throat out.

"What? Why do I have to be the one who had sex out of wedlock?" Asked Sirius, indignant. Severus glared now, was Black stupid?

"Because, you don't have to deal with the pain and change of all this, you asshole!" He yelled at Black.

He would have yelled more, but his step-father slapped him hard.

"You shut your mouth, you little man-whore. You have no one to blame but yourself. Disgusting- sleeping with men-"He spat.

"It was only once, we made a mistake!" He retorted.

It was the preacher's turn to slap him now. "Your father is right, this is your fault. Those are the devil's words coming from you. A mistake- hardly. You and your partner are sinful creatures. Utterly deplorable, and the order reason that we are saying it is Sirius's baby is because it is more believable. It has nothing to do with pity for you. Do you understand?" He hissed, vehemently.

Black and Severus both nodded. "I'm sorry." He whispered. Guilt plagued him, and he started crying.

"Quit your blubbering, you're not the ones who have to do damage control." His mother spat.

She turned to the preacher, "Have they been dealt with?" She sounded hopeful, like she would love to take a cane and beat them both senseless.

The preacher smiled, "Not enough, not yet. Here" He thrust a cane at his step-father, and Severus paled. "Black, get him good, Severus will have to wait, and we cannot harm the child. Hit him in the face and legs." The preacher ordered. Both his mother and step-father grinned. Even though his mother could not participate she could watch and enjoy the beating.

Severus flinched and his step-father through Sirius down, and caned the living day-lights out of him. The blows came fast and furious, and they showed no signs of ceasing. Severus did not cry out, he did not want the order to rush in. Sirius remained silent also, mostly out of pride, and partly because he knew he deserved it. Long minutes passed, and finally, it was his turn.

"Not the stomach." The preacher warned.

The hits did not hurt as much as the guilt did. It was slowly eating him alive threatening to consume. The cane came fast and furious, breaking his nose, and leaving angry bruises on his legs. He wept, because he was again unsure of whether he could handle this. Black looked angry, sitting on the floor, and glaring at their direction. He was silent however, and did not try to stop or interfere with the beating.

"Stop, he's had enough. We'll have to give him less than Black has received- at least for the time being." Severus could hear the threat in his voice. What the hell had he gotten himself into?

The preacher looked at both of them, "Get out! Now! I need to speak with your parents alone." He spat.


	8. Chapter 8

Severus and Sirius had quickly obeyed the order, and left as fast as they could. Blood still trailing from their wounds. They quickly snuck off too their rooms, and stopped the bleeding. They could not, however, spell the bruises away as the cane had been bewitched. It was common for pure-bloods to walk with canes and wear rings that could inflict damage that was not fixable with magic. They were called beater-canes or beater-rings. Only time would heal these sores. Black and Severus avoided each other the rest of that night, not wanting to provoke the wrath of the preacher.

The day had started of badly. Upon awakening Severus was reminded of the hideous bruises that marred his face, and legs. The ones on his body he could hide, but not the ones on his face. He had gone down to breakfast, and saw that black along with the rest of the order was already there.

"Where did you get YOUR bruises, Severus?' asked Albus perplexed. "Sirius seems to have received many similar looking ones."

Severus did not know what to say or tell him, but the preacher did. "The two have done dishonorable things; they were promptly beaten with the beater-cane. That is all you need to know. Right, boys?" Sirius and Severus nodded.

"You let him BEAT you, that's completely barba-"Severus and Sirius and Tonks quickly shook their heads to silence her but they were not fast enough.

"Silence, you foolish girl! You are not one to be preaching to me, I am a fair and just teacher- they must learn their lesson."

Hermione looked aghast, and wanted to say more, but was interrupted.

"Let us eat, and then prepare for the festivities, I do not wish to argue with immature little girls, who know nothing about the things that matter in life. " The preacher gave Hermione a death stare, and all was silent.

The festivities had begun, but before either Sirius or Severus were allowed to leave his mother made them cover their wounds with special make-up.

"No one needs to see your bruises, they'll ask questions. I will be spared that embarrassment. "

Now they were all in their finery, swirling girls around and ball-room dancing. It was made up of, save the order, all pure-bloods and Slytherins. Severus and Sirius had no choice but to dance, and as Severus was known as the best of dancers' woman flocked to him, eager for their turn. All the while Severus was in major pain, as the baby did not want to stay still or give him anything but pain. He dared not let it show, however, he did not want to evoke the wrath of anyone. Finally the long night passed and he was able to escape to the sanctuary of Black's huge tub. Just trying to soak away the appiration pains. It was intense. At least the night had gone by without anyone asking questions.

It was August now and he was about three months along. And it was getting so hard to hide it from the order and from the other death-eaters. His hormones were running rampant, and all he wanted to do was cry of scream. He was showing, and his chest hurt. More accurately his breasts, and there was nothing to be done about it. All he could do was wear loose robes and hope no one noticed anything was amiss. This was getting harder to do.

"Look, we got to figure something out, okay? Harry knows something is up, and Remus too. They keep asking questions, and all I tell them is too mind there their own business." Black looked worried, but Severus did not have time to worry about that kind of thing.

"There are MORE important things to worry about Black! We're not ready! What about living arrangements AFTER the baby comes? What about that? What about the things it need? We're not ready- at all!" He yelled.

Black ran his hands through his hair. "Well, I don't know either! This is all happening so fast. We need to think." He started pacing.

"I KNOW that, but all you've been doing is eating and sleeping!" He spat, he was crabby this morning. Like every other meeting.

"What am I SUPPOSED to do? We didn't exactly get a manual for this shit! All YOU"VE been doing is crying and puking and –"

"I've been thinking! And really? I can't help puking and crying, okay? If I had a choice I obviously wouldn't. Look, we have to figure this out, BEFORE the baby comes." He was scared.

Black did not reply right away, instead he just sat down on the bed. "Look, that doctor the preacher got for us, he's coming in a few hours. After he leaves, we can talk about this. Until then I just need to think." Sirius got up to leave.

"You're going to go fix yourself a nice drink aren't you? It must be nice." He spat.

"Yeah, and it must be nice to lay on you r srse all day long!"

"Go to hell, GET OUT!'" He spat, throwing a large book at him. Black quickly obeyed, and slammed the door.

The doctor was almost as scary as the preacher. She came in all business, and did not even knock. She strode right in the room and looked him. "Take your shirt off." Severus stared. "Now- I don't have time for stupidity."

Severus reluctantly took his shirt off, embarrassed about the swelling glands on his chest.

Black came in than, and received a sharp look from arietta, the doctor. "Get the hell out." She spat.

Black stood his ground. "This is my house, and that's my baby." He spat.

"Faggot." She spat. She turned to Severus again. "Lie down, now!" Severus lay back. She came over and her hands were freezing as she put them on his breasts. "Stop moving."

She pressed hard on his breasts and stomach, and for the next half hour she droned on about sin and finished abruptly.

"That's it?" He asked, shouldn't she explain things more?

"What do want from me? You're babies alive. I have more upstanding patience to get to, figure this out yourself."


	9. Chapter 9

The doctor could not have been less helpful. Now Severus was just sitting waiting for Black to speak. Black finally broke the silence, "We'll have to set up a nursery or something I guess. I mean, and then you can come visit the baby. I don't know." He looked as nervous as Severus felt.

He nodded. "Yeah, that's what we'll have to do." He did not ever want to be away from the baby. He had felt it and loved inside of him, and he did not want Black to keep it at his house. But he knew that was necessary. People would wonder why Black's baby was at Severus's, and questions were what they had to avoid. He put a hand on his growing stomach, and again worried about the future.

"And, well, I think I should tell Harry. And Remus, I mean they're going to find out anyways and…" Black trailed off hesitant.  
>Severus nodded, he was right. "Yeah."<p>

"But don't worry; I'll make sure it's secret. No one else needs to know. I Mean, it's out business after all. "He spoke quickly, as if he was scared that his words might upset Severus.

He nodded. "Yeah…" He said his voice thick. He was on the verge of a break-down, this was all so much, and he simply could not do this. Black noticed.

"Hey, what's wrong? Please, don't cry again." Black seemed panicked, as if he was hesitant to deal with a hormonal Severus.

"We can't do this. We have no idea what we're doing. We can't, okay?" He was crying now, and instead of leaving like he usually did, Black came and sat next to him, wrapping his arm around him.

"Hey, it'll be okay. Honestly. I promise." He whispered in his ear, holding him close. Severus could smell the musky scent of him, and tried to stifle the feelings of arousal. This was wrong, so wrong.

"How do you know?" He asked, locking his black eyes with Sirius's.

Black squeezed tighter," Because I can do anything I want. And NOW I want this baby. I really do, this can work. I'll make it work." His words were like honey, and soothed Severus. He leaned his head against Black and for the first time in awhile felt like he could really do this. As long as Black helped out.

It was now December, and somehow Severus had managed to hide his pregnancy from the students at school. It had been hard and had required many glamour's, and shamefully he had missed Sirius. Sirius had become much nicer after that doctors visit long ago, and together, before Severus had left, they had set up a nursery. Harry hand been told along with Remus, yes. And not surprisingly, soon the whole Order knew. It was embarrassing at first. And he was the butt of many jokes, along with Sirius. But he did not care. The life inside of him kicked, and moved, and Severus loved the baby.

He was seven months now, and he was huge. It was Christmas break now, and all he could do was lie n bed. Moving hurt and his hormones seemed to be in overdrive. His cravings were of ridiculous proportions. One minute he desired cotton candy, the next bananas. The pain was increasing and he was bleeding. A lot, especially today, but that was nothing, he was sure of it.

"Sirius!" he called out. Without seconds the animagi appeared.

"Yes?" He asked pleasantly. Black had been so kind since he had returned. Severus could tell he was getting excited for the baby.

"I have to pee." He moaned.

"Again?" Black sounded exasperated, and Severus could not really blame him.

"I'm peeing for two." He pointed out. Black sighed, but came and helped Severus up and to the bathroom. He could no longer get to his feet by himself. Afterwards Black helped him back and settled him in the bed.

Severus smiled. "What?" Sirius asked.

"The babies kicking feel." He grinned, grabbing Severus's hand and putting to his belly. Sirius's face lit up. Their eyes met, this moment was magical.

Sirius had decided to take a nap with Severus. In the same bed, not that Severus minded. He was warm and comforting, and he really did like to snuggle. Severus had awoken earlier than Black had, and he just lay quietly, waiting for Black to wake up.

There was a knock at the door. "It's Molly."

"Come in." He called. Sirius slept on as the door was opened and Molly came in.

"How is everything with the baby?" she asked sitting in a chair.

"Oh, just fine, Molly." He lied. The pain was as bad as ever, and the bleeding was pretty bad.

"No problems at all?"

Severus smiled, "None Molly."

"That's good. Just remember to take it easy, and stay of your feet."

Severus nodded as Molly went n and on about what he should do. He tried to listen but the pain was increasing. After Molly left he lay back, and tried to fall asleep, but could not. The pain was unbelievable.

Finally Sirius had awakened and looked over. The minute he saw Severus's face, a frown appeared.

"Are you okay? He asked, voice still slurred from sleep.

Severus just nodded, and grimaced.

"Are you sure, you look awful?" Sirius looked worried.

"Just fine." He whispered. Black did not look as though he believed him at all, but got up.

"I'm going to go downstairs and make a snack, you want anything/"

Severus shook his head no.


	10. Chapter 10

"Are you sure that you are alright Severus?" asked Sirius for the hundredth time. Severus could not blame him, he had not moved an inch since Molly's visit and it was now ten at night. The pain was so unreal tough. It was all he could concentrate on, and he did not want to whine to Sirius so he kept his mouth shut.

"Help me up, I need to move a little, my back hurts." He said. Black obliged.

"Up you go." He said, putting most of Severus's wait on him.

He moaned, "Bath, take me to the bathroom."

Black moved slowly, accounting for Severus's weight. Finally Black filled the tub and settled him slowly into it.

It was another hour before Severus finally admitted something was wrong. Right after blood filled the tub. He painfully got up, and then promptly fell to the floor. He gasped in a breath.

"Sirius!" he called, but he could not raise his voice to above a whisper. Black could not hear, and he did not come. Severus panicked, what was he supposed to do?

He needed Black, now. He was scared and something was wrong. AS the moment he did not care that his feelings were sinful. He mustered all his strength and yelled.

Footsteps up the stairs alerted him the Sirius was coming. He came through the door, and Severus had never been so happy to see him.

"Something is wrong." He wheezed.

Black quickly scooped him up from the floor and the pain of moving caused Severus to cry out.

"Oh fuck, oh no. What do I do, what do I do?' This is bad, so bad." Sirius was panicking and shaking.

"The bed." Severus moaned.

Sirius ran quickly to the room, but carefully. Then he ran out.

Severus panicked, was Black really leaving him here all alone?

Severus's fears were short lived- Sirius returned with Molly in tow. Molly who was still in her pajamas, looked flustered.

"Severus dear," She panted running up to him, "it'll be okay."

Severus doubted that very much, as there seemed to be a large amount of blood, and the pain was getting closer and closer.

"I'm going to have to take a look dear."

Severus knew what she meant and pulled the covers sown. Molly gasped, and Sirius looked about ready to pee himself.

"What, of goodness, what?" He was close to hysteria now.

"Oh my- how long have you been in labor?" Molly sounded a bit angry, but more scared than anything.

"Labor? No, too early. Just cramps." He panted.

Molly shook her head.

"Severus," She started slowly, as if not wanting to upset him, "This baby is coming- soon."

"No, no, can't. Too early."

Molly ignored him and turned to Sirius. "Go get some towels and a scissors- NOW! MOVE!" she ordered.

"Molly-" He tried to speak, to tell her the baby simply could not come this early, but pain shook hi, he screamed out.

"Breath dearie." Molly coached.

"Breath?" he could hardly keep from fainting, much less breath.

Sirius ran in with the towels and succors, looking ready to pass out.

"We should go to the hospital." He said.

Severus shook hi head no. "Can't. Secret. No doctors but –"He panted.

He could not finish his sentence but Molly had a point of her own. "The babies coming NOW!

The pain was intense, and Severus did not want to believe the baby was coming, but it was. Molly assured him of that. He had never been so scared. Babies did not do well when they came early.

"You Son of a bitch! I'll kill you!" He screamed at Sirius. "Fuck!"

"You're doing well," Molly told him from her perch right at the edge of the bed.

"Yeah, just breathe." Black said.

"What do you think I'm doing?" He yelled, squeezing Black's hand.

Hours passed, and the pain was intense.

Finally, "PUSH, one more time."

Molly smiled, as wrapped the baby in a towel.

"It's a boy." She squealed.

Severus started crying, the pain had not been for nothing. There was life now.

Weak cries filled the room, and Molly set the baby in his arms. He was beautiful. He eyes were light black, and grayish, and he had lots of dark hair already. His skin was not exactly clean, but his paleness was showing through. Severus smiled there was no words for this. He was happy, and luckily the baby seemed to have gotten Sirius's nose.

"Oh, he's perfect." He said.

Molly grinned.

Molly had cleaned both him and the baby up, and now Sirius and he were sitting on together on the couch, listening to Molly give instructions. The baby was suckling peacefully and Severus could not remember every being so in love with something.

"Rephaim."

"What?" Black asked, looking up from where he had been enraptured- the baby.

"Rephaim Michael Black. That's his name." He smiled.

Black smiled too. "Sounds good to me, good Gryffindor name."

"Our son is NOT going to be a filthy lion!" He said flatly.

"Well, he's not going to be a snake."

"Fine, than he can be a Ravenclaw."

Sirius gave him a look.

"Okay, fine. But he's not being a lion. Are you, Rephaim" He cooed at the infant.

The baby gurgled, and started crying. Severus rocked the baby and his tears stopped.

"Ha, the very thought makes him cry." Severus was haughty.

Sirius looked annoyed. "Hey Molly, he's pretty loud for being so early."  
>Severus smiled, "that's because he has some of your stubbornness. "<p>

Sirius grinned back. "Good thing, maybe he'll be Gryffindor after all."

Severus just rolled his eyes, happily. And everything seemed to just fall in place.

Severus and Sirius were in love and did not care what anyone said. As long as they had each other and little Rephaim there would be happiness.

END


End file.
